Psychologies Magazine, April 2002 —
The question of the "meaning of life" has resurfaced in the West. After the collapse of major religious systems and political ideologies, each of us is left to our own devices and questions what truly gives meaning to our lives. This is undoubtedly one of the reasons for the resurgence of philosophy, the success of personal development, and spirituality. Let us not forget, however, that simply asking this question is the prerogative of the wealthy, or at least of those who no longer have to struggle for survival. The poor do not question the meaning of their existence. They simply try to survive from day to day. But what helps them live, as much as the food they seek daily, are the bonds of family, friendship, tribe, and community.
Humans cannot live without "emotional bonds" in the broadest sense of the term. We know this perfectly well with regard to babies. If no one looks at them personally, touches them, or shows any interest in them, they wither away. If anything, therefore, truly gives meaning to our lives, rich or poor, yesterday or today, here or elsewhere, it is love. All philosophical or religious inquiry will leave us with a feeling of existential emptiness if our lives are devoid of love. Life is viable because someone, even just once, has looked at us with love.
I will never forget the heartbreaking scene I witnessed some twenty years ago during a trip to India. I was volunteering with Mother Teresa's sisters. A baby, found in a garbage can, had been brought to the orphanage in Calcutta. He refused to eat and showed no emotion. He was like a dead man. Despite initial medical and nutritional care, his condition had hardly improved. One of the nuns took him in her arms, rubbed him vigorously, held him close, spoke to him, and tried to make him laugh. Nothing worked. Holding the child against her heart, she remained still for a long time with her eyes closed. An astonishing strength emanated from her. Then, slowly, her hands began to knead the baby again. Tirelessly, she massaged him from head to toe, with a perfectly balanced mixture of strength and gentleness. She resumed bouncing the child on her knee, and her serious expression transformed into a cascade of laughter. And there, before our very eyes, a miracle of love occurred. The child's gaze began to light up. The absent one became present. And, gently, a smile appeared, accompanied by a few little cries of joy. The baby had chosen to live. Her smile testified that love is the only reason that truly gives meaning to existence.
April 2002