Psychologies Magazine, April 2002 —
The question of the "meaning of life" is resurfacing in the West. After the collapse of major religious systems and political ideologies, each of us is thrown back into our own skin and is questioning what truly makes sense to us. This is undoubtedly one of the reasons for the revival of philosophy, the success of personal development and spirituality. Let us not forget, however, that simply asking this question is the preserve of the rich, or at least of those who no longer have to struggle for survival. The poor do not question the meaning of their existence. They simply try to survive from day to day. But what helps them live, as much as the food they seek daily, are the ties of family, friendship, tribe, and community.
Man cannot live without "affective bonds" in the broadest sense of the term. We know this perfectly well with regard to babies. If no one looks at them personally, touches them, or is interested in them, they wither away. If anything, then, truly gives meaning to our lives, rich or poor, yesterday or today, here or elsewhere, it is love. All philosophical or religious pursuits will leave us with a feeling of existential emptiness if our lives are without love. Life is viable because someone, even if only once, has looked at us with love.
I will never forget this moving scene I witnessed some twenty years ago during a trip to India. I was working as a volunteer with Mother Teresa's sisters. A baby, found in a garbage can, had been brought to the Calcutta orphanage. He refused to eat, showed no emotion. He was as if dead. Despite initial medical and nutritional care, his condition had hardly improved. One of the nuns took him in her arms, rubbed him vigorously, squeezed him, spoke to him, and tried to make him laugh. Nothing worked. Holding the child to her heart, she remained motionless for a long time with her eyes closed. An astonishing strength emanated from her. Then, slowly, her hands began to knead the baby again. Tirelessly, she massaged him from head to toe, with a perfectly balanced mixture of strength and gentleness. She began bouncing the child on her knees again, and her serious expression transformed into a cascade of laughter. And there, before our eyes, a miracle of love occurred. The child's eyes began to light up. The absent became present. And, slowly, a smile appeared, accompanied by a few little cries of happiness. The baby had chosen to live. His smile testified that love is the only motive that truly gives meaning to existence.
April 2002